watched Rob B Hood.
wapiang. I LOVE THE SHOW.
matthew is so fucking cute. ya if you're wondering whose matthew.. he's the baby...
i told you i love happy endings. hoho

thanks asshole r.s. you dont know how happy i am to see you waiting for me with food on hand. bcos this shows that you've thought of me and my stomach. hehehohohaha. NOT BECAUSE of the food thats why im happy okay.
the food felt warm in my hands. but im beginning to suspect it's the love from you that's warming it, warming my heart.
today is the official date for our 2 years 9mths relationship. :)
thanks for always giving in to me. i know how i can be very stubborn and high with pride at times.. i know how i always expect you to give in like you always do. you know what asshole, you have fucking spoilt me. but i love it. and i know you love it too. wahah. so let's keep it this way. bleh
thanks for doing little things to brighten up my day..
thanks for always being there for me to vent my anger on..
thanks for always sparing a thought for me..
thanks for understanding me more than what i'd expected some times.. (tho i alws like to say you dont and wont understand me lol :X )
lol
and thanks for saying that my baby pic looks a little like matthew. HOHO. i told you i WAS a little cute.
thanks for everything. :)
i l o v e y o u - 2905


walao. bloody hell. at the mention of 2905 reminds me of the negative part of our past.
i still cant accept girls being overly-bhb.
yea. and there's only one girl in the past i knew so far. and another one in his current class.
seriously, i dont know why girls are even attracted to an asshole like r.s. WAHHAHA :X
im not a girl. i am my mum's daughter.

but anyway i would stil like to thank this two persons because they've made me realise how much r.s loves me and have too, exposed me to the another type of girls on earth.
you are not a bad or mean girl just that the things you did arent acceptable. lol MY point of view.
i said before, that even if you dont respect me, you respect my point of view.

okay. everyone learns from experiences.

Just read through all my frenster testi..

how i miss xms. cheerleading and most imptly, my friends in xms. =(
and of cos.. year 2005 too..
my working time.. and my then new class 05S36!
and lkk and snail..

lol. my heart has been reheated and warmed again when i went to read the testi from them.

:)

i love all of you, every single one of you. i love you for who you are. thanks for being my friend.
im sorry for what i've done, directly or indirectly to hurt you, anyone of you..hope my apologies will be accepted..
bcos i've come to realise that,
the value of friendship is more than anything on earth.
i only hope that you all can be yourself when you're with me...
because i love you for who you are remember? :)

ohno! lol. wrong info. zzz
she's 2 yrs older and the coming birthday isnt hers.. it's her bf's.. lol..
stupid r.s. :X ( she mean herself HOHOHO - Rs )

YEA. CATCHING ROB B HOOD TML!

as pretty as sammi

IVE GOT MYSELF ANOTHER IDOL BESIDES SAMMI.
DAMM PRETTY.
she's three years older than me if im not wrong. and she's celebrating her birthday soon!!
the point i want to put across is,
R.S AND ME HAVE BEEN INVITED to her bd party!
MYGOD.
my pretty idol.
just went to her friendster to kope one of her pictures. hope she wont mind. :X walao eh damm pretty!!

SHE IS THE ONE ON THE LEFT.

dont you think she looks like some celebrity?!

YAY. mr r.s is a friend of hers and her bf's. cos she was from xms too...

and bloody hell. lol. r.s told me that he went to tell her boyfriend that ive been lookin at her pictures, smiling to myself that sort of thing. wtf. it's no big deal what. everyone smiles when they see something/somebody so pretty. distinct features, nice personality and all.

i dont know how or even what to reply.. maybe bcos of my bochup.ness/laziness to go and think of what to say..
for now,
i will not comment..
i know this is not the right way of handling things.. i know im being irresponsible but who cares..
i dont anymore
i know leaving things lying around like that wouldnt help..
but seriously...
i canot think or rather i refuse to think anymore...

i just want to concentrate on my studies, my family, my bf, some of my friends..

okay. this is selective bochup.ing.

i know it would be weird for us when we face each other..
but like that lo..
pretence has subsided.. im probably immune to pretending i know nothing already..
i just want to continue pretending..
let me live in my own world. for now.

maybe when ive decided to open up then will i start my say.

xiao hai bu ben 2! nice!
just had my heavy dinner too. hohoh. okay ive been watching tv since just now again
lsx you're not going to watch tv for life are you!?
maybe one day your eyes will drop out because of sitting in fron of the tv for too long.


i realise ive been reading too much blog that i've sub consciously absorbed some content of ppl's blog and started discussing abt it too.

maybe all dragon babies are facing the same problem.

are you?

hahah

i miss r.s.

bo-chup is bliss

caught The Banquet. i dont like movies with sad endings..
i know i will love Rob B Hood :)

went cycling with r.s ystd at pasir ris park. i finally exercised. yea. finally. i havent been exercising for eons..
im sorry that i've disappointed you once and again. i know if i were you, i wouldnt be able to handle it so calmly like you did. thanks for always giving in to me. i dont always have to tell you "i love you" to show how much i really love you. some words are better kept unsaid if not somebody's gonna fly to cloud nine.

been a tv fanatic nowadays.. so much so that i've refused to do my math hwk and had refused to turn up for math lessons on friday. im sorry mrs neo. but i really need sometime to get away from the depressing part of my life..

right now, i think one way to stay happy is to not care for anything at all.
this is when i will be the happiest. :)

i think i will probably shift back to my personal journal again. hohoh
only mightys have access to, internals dont blog so ya.. :)

i am tired of being
a friend.
esp when the other party have to lie to you for whatever-reasons.
and if one really lied, nobody will initiate to admit it anyway.
Lies, you know what? you suck to the core.
creating another facade, at the same time allowing yourself to be exposed and let anyone see through you easily.
im tired of trying to guess the reasons/motives behind the lies myself.
i cant work this out myself because it takes two hands to clap.
if i were given a choice, i would rather be taken in by that facade and not be aware of the existing lies.
sometimes when life leaves you with no choice, forcing you to step onto the ugly path,
you give up like i do. :)

i swear i am not going to think about it, get frustrated over that tinge of betrayal emitting from the lies and using words i never meant to use..
'cause i know if i were you, and if i were to be perceived in this manner, i wouldnt feel good.

i am just not going to care. take my words for it.

because i am selfish. i only want to keep the happy me and i wont let uglyfacts hinder my happiness.

from today onwards, i will turn myself into a bo-chup person.
ignorance is bliss. i would agree.
bo-chup.ing is bliss. i cant agree more.
:)
i shall do selective bo-chup.ing from today onwards! yea baby!

I Love Sammi.

mygod. she's so pretty. wanted to get a earhole on the top of my left ear like hers.

BUT i chicken out in the end. because of wad ying told me. LOL. i hum la.

I WANT TO WATCH THIS!!!!
it will be out on 29th September.
look at the baby! SO DAM CUTE!
alright r.s has dated me out for this movie already. hoho.
ive got a date! woohoo

change of song to:
The Remedy by Jason Mraz

I saw fireworks from the freeway and behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away
Cause you were born on the fourth of july,
freedom ring now something on the surface it stings
that something on the surface it kind of makes me nervous
who says that you deserve this and what kind of god would serve this?
We will cure this dirty old disease

if you've got the poison I've got the remedy
the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I won't worry my life away.
I won't worry my life away.

I heard two men talking on the radio in a cross fire kind of new reality show
Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack they were counting down the days to stab the brother in the be right back
after this the unavoidable kiss, where the minty fresh death breath is sure to outlast
his catastrophe dance with me,

because if you've got the poison, I've got the remedy
the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious.
Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I won't worry my life away.
I won't worry my life away.

When I fall in love I take my time
There's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind
You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine and I'll tell you why
Because the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison

I say the comedy is that its serious.
Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I won't worry my life away.
I won't worry my life away.
I won't and I won't and I won't etc.

going cycling tomorrow!
GO HEALTHY LIFESTYLE!

lol. r.s. was telling me about seeing who can cycle faster. like wtf. so i told him scarli later i fell and the ahpeks there will wee-o-wee.
AND SO. he scared ahpeks wee-o-wee me and said he will bring an extra pair of shorts for me in case my shorts pi jiak. LOL
LIKE AH SOH LIKE THAT
but i love my aunty boyfriend. :) you can love him too but he's mine, mine and mine. can see but canot touch. hohohoh

i'm going for a healthy lifestyle but dont expect me to sacrifice the many delicacies.

met up with internals yesterday at kovan that hongkong cafe.
we laughed like nobody's business.
gossip like nobody's business.
even though the cafe was filled up with people, we could still get very much engross in our own conversation, indulge in the little happiness...cherishing every minute spent with them...
I AM VERY HAPPY!!! hohoh.
i really miss them.. :(
i love them. they never fail to make my day. :)
AND I WILL BE MEETING MIGHTY TOMORROW TOO.
i hereby declare that iam a blessed girl. :D


i believe as long as one's conscious is clear, we'll have nothing to be afraid of.
right r.s. ? LOL

read the papers just now. saw the article on "Can sins really be washed away?"
this article has been drawn to my attention because the title itself has piqued my curiousity..
it is said that a study has shown that people who washed their hands after thinking about unethical acts were less troubled.
in one of the experiments, a group of students were led into recalling an unethical act from their past while the another group reflect on ethical deed.
after that they were given a choice of a gify, a pencil or an antiseptic wipe.
and those who had reflected on a shameful act were twice as likely to take the wipe.

if we see it from a materialistic point of view, wouldnt it be more worthwhile to take the antiseptic wipe? LOl i thought they would cost more than a pencil... :x

anyway, back to my point,
which will you choose?
pencil or antiseptic wipe?
:)



let me leave this behind before i end my entry :
so long as we have a conscious clear as crystal, no one obstacle can impede our growth.

this was what r.s. had at parkmall that day..













this was what i had.











can you spot the difference? if you take a clearer look at the picture,you would probably see that we have my eggwhite and his eggyolk untouched.
i dont take egg white and r.s. doesnt take egg yolk..
i will probably die at an earlier age from high cholesterol.
hohohoh

went for lunch with r.s and his dad. lol today is uncle's birthday! and yea it was raining...
anyway uncle'd decided to go back home first.. and we've only got two umbrellas with us.. so he asked r.s "one umbrella enough for u two not? "
then r.s jokingly replied " not enough la"
and uncle's response was " aiya dont use umbrella.. walking in the rain together is better..." LOL and he started smiling to himself cheekily (now i know where r.s. has got cheeky-look from)
anyway, lol i cant help but burst out laughing. lol 'cause it's the first time uncle's hidden humor has surfaced.
went back to r.s. place and we started watching some movie called "king of beast" i think its nice..the king of beast has a tiger as friend. how cool is that. i would like to have a panda as friend.
after that r.s intro me another new game, Heroes V, yea i like the game!!!
it's more interesting than fate and wow.. wahaha.. i dont really fancy wow cause there are too many icons already and i always cant react in time to click on the right one. furthermore, the monsters in it are scarier. LOL never fail to scare the shit out of me.. my heart would pump so much faster while playing wow and i will get so ganjiong that i will anyhow click. wahah. so i've figured that if i continue with wow i would probably die of heart failure, at a young age.
heroesV is good for me. :)

i've chosen to return home late because of a morning arguement with my mum.
if only mums can stop their naggings..
of course, despite all the arguing, im still aware that she cares

received news that a very nice aunty has just passed away today. hai.. she's a family friend of ours and she has a loving family..
why must it always be the good having to die young?
she has been fighting with cancer since dont know when.. and i only got to know it now..
she's always smiling, always so bubbly..so nice and sweet.. and a strong lady, wife and mother.
she and her husband clearly belonged to part of the altruistic minority left on Earth.

why must you take away some one who is so nice updowninsideout?!
i can accept everything but not this.
must you really destroy this minority before you ll be statisfied?
i canot accept this.
you are getting unreasonable and out of hand.
to whom am i addressing, i dont know.
i only know that i want you to stop your work and stop doing evil to people who are really nice,sincere and selfless.


the greatest thing on earth is one's selflessness.
even you are not up to it.

tomorrow is my physics paper 1 and 2.
im going to convince myself that i love physics and that i will study for tomorrow's papers.
i will definitely be able to fill up more blanks as compared to my paper3.

STUDY LA LSX.

WELL WELL WELL
you can always disagree with what i say, but you cant say that i'm wrong in thinking this way.


-> this is specially for people who dont even know what is happening YET they want to have a say. Of course you can say what you want, but you cant say i am wrong because you are not entitled any rights.
alright to be specific, i'm directing the above at only one person.
and YOU should know who YOU are because i know too, that YOU are a frequent reader of my blog.
while you're reading this, and you felt your conscious pricking YOU. yes, i am talking about YOU.

YOU'd read my previous entries, and you felt the conscious pricking so much so that YOU have to comment..
then please do some self reflection yourself instead of commenting on me and my views.
YOU need not necessary have to respect me, but YOU respect my point my view. Get this right inside you especially when my previous entries werent even meant for YOU. thankYOUverymuch.


one person like this is enough to get on my nerves.
not like im talking about you, unless you feel that i am if not why will you even mention it?
if that's the case it's your own problem that you feel insulted by my previous entries so much so that YOU have to comment. you shld be doing some self reflection instead of commenting on me while all i did was only to list out who i think is considered a Bitch and as digusting as BigBird.
you must have been real against my entry because of god-knows-what reasons to bring me into that entry of yours. whatever the reasons are, they are for you to know and for me to find out. but ohpls, i have the least interest in YOU so why would i be interested in your reasons. hohoho



alright. three more days of prelims and we will be freed from exam stress.
my pimples are coming out. wtf

i think i'm turning mad from prelims stress esp when one has less than 50% content up in your head yet you still have to force yourself to and sit for the paper.

As is what i will be looking forward to, not prelims. whahahah

i shall end of my entry with the digusting YOU. i've never liked you ever since that fatal incident hohoho. that incident which i shldnt even be involved if not for my status. but it's fate that has brought us together so i guess i will just accept you.

was looking through my photos when i found THIS.

i was supposed to look like iam very turn off by their act cute pose ... but i thought i look pitiful instead. my frown just didnt come out right.

if only life can be as simple as a picture..

im currently undergoing another low self esteem/confidence period.

i think i am ugly and that people judge me by my appearance and are looking down on me.

i think my bf deserves another better gf. and then i wil start thinkin why we are not suitable for each other and all negative thoughts just came flowing in like there's no end.

i think people are laughin at my bf for having a gf as bad as me. (im possessive, jealous easily, always thinkin that im right and he's wrong, expecting him to be understanding, expecting him to listen to me.. yes i do expect alot... thus, i ve failed in my part as a gf. and i definitely dont deserve his love..and at this point, i will start to think why am i even in a r/s.. i dont need a guy to depend on anyway.. having my girlies, family with me is more than enough.. )

not knowing how to deal with so many things including studies, has further dampened my mood.

yea so the cycle repeats from positive to negative and negative to positive. you name it it has it.

and so the machine of emotions broke down. no matter how strong electricity is, it still cant get the machine working. the machine isnt going to budge.. not now anyway..

all the machine needs is some time for repairing but fret not.. cos no sooner, you will see it at work again.

good night hollow-whale.

I AM SO FUCKING PEKCHEK NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


VENTING ANGER ON R.S IN THE PROCESS. i just need someone to vent it on

im totally disgusted. seriously.
i call girls who flirt around with guys, make use of guys for their own benefits, pretend to be nice to guys to gain their hearts,
b-i-t-c-h-e-s.

luckily none of my true friend is being categorized under this area. :)

and i call
people who are discreetly being competitive even with their own group of friends,
as disgusting as BigBird.

luckily again, none of my true friend is like this.


i hereby wana thank whoeevr is up there for making things that's happening around me as clear as crystal to me.


always bear in mind that you can hide everything (even yourself), but you cant hide truths.
the truth will always be out one day.
:)

so, have you been true to yourself? or your friends?
think.
are you sure?
think again.


i thank whoever is up there again, for blessing me with true friends.
quantity doesnt matter, it's quality that counts.
thankyou, whoever is up there.

Heart Matters
" there is an old tree dying, the rain came and so it grew leaves. Then autumn came and the wind blew the leaves away. "
choose one character out of the five : rain, tree, leaves, wind and autumn.





choose one before scrolling down to see your character (in terms of bgr).
















Rain = you are a safe person, who will really love and care
Tree = you are very loyal to your partner. if the r/s is over, it wont be easy for you to forget.
Leaves = you are a playboy/girl
Wind = you are the 3rd party in a r/s
Autumn = you can love two persons at a same time






lol my fren tested me and i tried it on r.s.
we both got Tree as our answers.
no wonder we are still stuck together after three years.
hehe :)

well, i dont usually believe in such tests.. mayb i shld say it this way, i wont allow myself to believe in the negative results from such tests..

i believe it this time round cause it spells something positive for r.s and me
hohoho.

anw, r.s and me are considering of getting a havanese(duno if it's spelt correctly) or maltese or silky terrier by next year!
he's more for havanese and maltese ahh.. im okay with all as long as the dog doesnt bark all the time. lol i dislike loud noises because i fear them.


cant wait for prelims to be over..

and finally!
i can feel myself getting onto the track to preparing for As.
say, wont you be happy for me?
:)


iam giving up on prelims. because it's too late for me to catch up with eevrything in such little time. i probably wont even pass but..
but still, i will try...
i want to score as much as i can. to gain whatever marks that are rightfully mine. in other words, i must make sure i get the marks for the topics i've studied!!!

at the end of the day, i must make sure i do well for A lvl.


we can all do it.
it's all in us.
:)

rest in peace, steve irwin.
it's fate that has presented you to all of us, and it's also fate that has taken you away.
this is how cruel fate is.
giving you,me a life and then taking it away from us as and when it likes.

oh, have i ever mentioned that i believe a hell lot in fate?
yes. even up till this minute i still have tons of faith in fate because..
i have learn to accept fate. yes it's as easy as that.

life is all about acceptance. is it not?

accepting and believing play crucial role in getting us onto the "right track" in life.

i'm learning to accept that we, humankind, are here for a reason; we are here for money.
money is the reason.
if you disagree, please kindly explain the concept of Competition to me. one which i will never understand

why do we have to study, try to clinch a place in the University and in the working society.
why?! if it hadnt been for money, the root of all evils.
had it not been for money, crime rates will never have come this far.

it's all money's fault.



im trying to study for the last few days before the commencement of prelims. so please do not disturb.
i have no aim for this prelims.. it's too late for me to have any now..

so ive decided to look way beyond the coming prelims and to aim for A levels instead.
ultimately, it's A level that we should do well for?

and to BIG BIRD. stop trying to check out how people is doing for their revision so that it's to your benefits? it's none of your business anyway because at the end of the day it's your own results that you should be looking out for.

sorry ya but im easily turn off by overly competitive people (bigbird will be an excellent example)
if you feel that your life hasnt been interesting, you may want to befriend BigBird. im sure she will make yours as interesting as can be.



going slow is better than not moving at all, cause' i believe.

sorry prelims.





omg. my gp tcher has been hospitalized?!

didnt get to meet ying in the end. lol. i wasnt trying to slack.. really. :x

and my buffet lunch has been postponed to next week! one of the weekdays.. im looking forward to it. :) :) :)
and of course the food testing.. hehehe


i'm depress suddenly.
my timeofmonth is coming. i can feel you. please come asap so that i wont have to go through yet another "depressing" period.
i dontwant to be feeling so pekchek and all! i would hate myself more if i were to vent my pekchekness on others. lol.. that's why i'm keeping my sms.es to myself to avoid 'bullying' the one and only, TurtleWithASexyButt aka r.s. :x


steamboat today! and most of my maternal relatives came over for a bonding session! :) :) :)
thanks mummy for preparing all the food. :)
i really wana thank 'whoever is up there' for giving me the chance to be part of the family.
i love my family!!!!

will be meeting ying for math today!

yea. :)

i will try my best to change from a full-timer to a part-time procrastinator.

please lsx. this is your 2nd last lap already.
look at the results you are getting. where are you heading?
have you lost your senses the minute you stepped into this jc life?
ask about achievements. i can only bring up my council days.

i know i didnt put in my best effort for studies.
since you already knew, it's time to start afresh.
you may be going veryyyyyyyyyyy slowly.. but it's better than not moving at all. :)
it's never too late for anything, anything.