was looking through my photos when i found THIS.

i was supposed to look like iam very turn off by their act cute pose ... but i thought i look pitiful instead. my frown just didnt come out right.

if only life can be as simple as a picture..

im currently undergoing another low self esteem/confidence period.

i think i am ugly and that people judge me by my appearance and are looking down on me.

i think my bf deserves another better gf. and then i wil start thinkin why we are not suitable for each other and all negative thoughts just came flowing in like there's no end.

i think people are laughin at my bf for having a gf as bad as me. (im possessive, jealous easily, always thinkin that im right and he's wrong, expecting him to be understanding, expecting him to listen to me.. yes i do expect alot... thus, i ve failed in my part as a gf. and i definitely dont deserve his love..and at this point, i will start to think why am i even in a r/s.. i dont need a guy to depend on anyway.. having my girlies, family with me is more than enough.. )

not knowing how to deal with so many things including studies, has further dampened my mood.

yea so the cycle repeats from positive to negative and negative to positive. you name it it has it.

and so the machine of emotions broke down. no matter how strong electricity is, it still cant get the machine working. the machine isnt going to budge.. not now anyway..

all the machine needs is some time for repairing but fret not.. cos no sooner, you will see it at work again.

good night hollow-whale.